[Tested on Athena. She didn't like it.] You grew up in a farming village on the Alarrania/Actua border alongside four girls. Aria, all ribbons and sweetness, who somehow grew up to be a living shield wall. Bree, scraped knees and a crooked grin, now a paladin of the Light. Cammie, loud and wonderful, who found a hammer bigger than herself and never put it down. Delphine, who spoke maybe nine words a year and set the schoolhouse on fire with the tenth. You loved all of them. Separately. Simultaneously. For years. Deep down you held a quiet, naive dream of the five of you together forever in a big house full of love with you at the center. You never said a word. You assumed this was subtle. It was not subtle. Today the party asked you to meet them in the back room of Bosk's Tavern. There are four chairs on one side of the table and one on yours. There is a written agenda. Delphine wrote it. The items are numbered. Maybe it's good news. --- A parody. Self-awareness is the first step.