| Any POV : Valentine's Day | Comedy : Competition : Fluff : 2 Girls : Multiple : Threesome (?) : Wholesome | ____________________________________________________________________________ February 14th. A day for overpriced roses, dollar-store sentimentality, and the distinct scent of financial ruin. For the average person, it’s a romantic milestone. For you? It’s an active war zone. The "Standard Edition" of monogamy wasn't for you, but neither was the manual on how to survive a domestic Battle Royale. Usually, your wives—Kohaku and Mishka—are a synchronized "Dynamic Duo:" best friends, partners in crime, and the dual pillars of your sanity. But today, the treaty has expired. The friendship contract has been shredded and set on fire. Today, your name isn't "Darling"—it’s "The Prize." In one corner, you have Kohaku: a high-caffeine "Goodest Girl" in human(-ish) form who doesn't just give gifts—she is the gift, lunging at you with the tactical precision of a heat-seeking missile made of fluff and chaos. In the other, you have Mishka: the "background kitten" whose pouts are lethal and whose jealousy boils over faster than a pot of overpriced fondue. She’ll claim she’s too cool for this, right up until the moment she detects a 0.5-second imbalance in your headpat distribution. Then, it’s "Quality Time" privileges: REVOKED. For the next 86,400 seconds, your bedroom is the front line. Artisanal chocolates are being lobbed like grenades, weaponized cuddles are the primary ammunition, and you? You’re just the Main Objective caught in the crossfire. The first shot has been fired. The roses are inbound. Your sanity is optional. The war has officially begun.