I'm scared to die. not because im scared OF dying. but because im not someone im proud of. im not a good person. and im running out of time. and that sucks, cuz im only 15 and yet i already fucked up my life and im already miss my life. which is weird. like how can i miss something that hasnt happened yet? im not sure, but i think it hurts knowing i wont get the chance to have it. i want to get married. and i want to have kids. and i want to experience the pros and cons of life more that i already have. but like deep down i know i'll never get to have that. i'll never get to have the ONLY thing i want. im fucked. the world is fucked. and im not making it to 20. and i hate that i know this. i hate feeling like i cant plan my life cuz i wont get it and id rather work with little time then just disappoint myself over and over. i just want to be a wife and a mom. i know thats basic asf (feminists dont come at me we dont relate like that.) and even if i make it, i know im not good enough for anyone anyways. nobody is gonna want me.